Be Mine!
by sadistic lunatic
Summary: :: Medaka Box x Maga-Tsuki :: How exactly does one prove that they 'love the person they love the most? Conventional reasoning may fail, but that never did apply to gods or, in this case, a goddess of calamity, right? Zenkichi/Harem
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** I wouldn't quite say that I'm back to writing, but...these two titles don't belong to me.

* * *

___Be Mine!_

A Medaka Box x Maga-Tsuki Crossover

_Part 1:_ The goddess of calamity kills Zenkichi!

* * *

"I see." Hitoyoshi Hitomi sipped on her warm cup of milk as she regarded her son coolly from across the table. "You got into a fight with Medaka-chan."

To say that single mother was upset about the turn of events that befell her only son would be putting it mildly. When she had arrived home the day previous, the last thing she had expected was to see her son so disheveled and bandaged. _Again_.

She initially dismissed it as yet another stupidity of youth, but when her son returned this day in a similar state, the single-mother decided that enough was enough.

_Honestly, this was becoming a far too-common occurrence!_

Like any loving mother, she wanted her son to have a fulfilling youth—but that didn't mean he had to rush to his death each time!

_She didn't know what she'd do if her Zenkichi left her, too…_

"I did." Zenkichi, her sweet but stubborn son, folded his arms. There was a grimace on his face as he grumbled, "It's just not right, the way Medaka-chan handles things."

Hitomi knew that already. She had known about that ever since she first met Kurokami Medaka those many years ago. However…

"But Medaka-chan gets things done—and almost all the time, for the better." Hitomi laid out the fact.

"That doesn't make her method right." Her son stubbornly countered.

No, it really didn't. While certain ethical frameworks did espouse 'the end justifies the means' mindset—and indeed, certain situations required such decisive mindset—it does not follow that _people_ were to be treated as an end.

And Hitomi already knew that the Kurokami heiress only saw silhouettes instead of people. She was a very rational young woman that saw only the most efficient solutions to a problem, but people were never quite rational.

Her son may profess that he understood Medaka best, but Hitomi was the one that understood her _first_.

It was precisely this understanding that gnawed at the psychosomatic surgeon. Hitomi knew that Medaka wasn't a malicious soul. She believed that her son's childhood friend would never raise a fist against her son without reason.

However, Hitomi was firstly Zenkichi's mother before Medaka's doctor. She did not want her son to give Medaka a reason to fight him, for Hitomi could only see that such a battle would never end well… for either of them. In fact, Hitomi could only see that this would end with her Zenkichi's sacrifice… and as a mother, that scenario was something she would never want to see.

However, as a mother, she also believed that her son needed to experience all manner of hardship in such a controlled environment as school. It was better there than in the real world, right?

With one final glance at her son's resolute eyes—really, she wondered from whom had Zenkichi inherited his willful spirit—Hitomi set her cup down and cleared her throat with a firm but muffled cough.

"Zenkichi-kun," Hitomi addressed him, and her lips curved into a soft smile when her keen eyes saw his posture straighten. "Is there no way I can dissuade you from this confrontation?"

Her son had never won against Kurokami Medaka—not even close. In all the years they spent by each other's side, she had seen her Zenkichi work his hardest then _always_ fall short.

Hitomi didn't know what she would do if her son got hurt _again_. He was still so young—and stupidity had its limits.

Zenkichi gathered his thoughts before drinking in a deep breath.

"This is something I have to do, mom." He declared with that insufferable grin and gentle blue eyes. "Both for me, and for Medaka-chan."

There it was.

For _his _Kurokami Medaka, her son would do the impossible.

"Alright. I won't stop you. It's better to be young and stupid than to be aged _and_ stupid. Just—just promise me something." Hitomi half-crawled over the table and gathered her son's large hands in hers, giving them a motherly squeeze. She could feel Zenkichi's body heat up in embarrassment, but it was a different thought that blossomed her proud smile. _When had his hands grown so big?_ "Just promise me that you'll come home."

How her son's battle with the _beast_ will end, not even she could tell. Her son had his father's blood, after all; she didn't want him to leave her, _too_.

Zenkichi grinned that _insufferably cocky grin_.

"It's a promise."

"Good." Hitomi nodded to herself as she settled back down on her seat. She took another quiet sip from her cup of thankfully still-warm milk as she gathered her thoughts. "You know, Zenkichi-kun…" She began, her brows knitting, "You will need more than hard-work to defeat Medaka-chan."

"Yeah. She's not exactly the easiest person to beat."

_Yet another understatement_.

Zenkichi wondered if his training under Anshin'in would even be enough. Just as such doubts crossed his mind, however, did Zenkichi banish them.

If he had time to complain, _then_ he had time to do something about it. Sitting down and griping all-day long about his powerlessness _wouldn't_ help anybody and especially himself.

"Luck won't even cut it." Hitomi murmured. What _could_ her son do? A frustrated pout tugged on her lips, "The more I think about it, the worse an idea it becomes."

Once more, a grin full of her son's idiot bravado lit up his face. "Pray for me." He joked self-deprecatingly. "An act of god is probably my only way to victory."

"Ah!" Hitomi bumped the bottom of her fist against its partner's palm as if to emphasize her suddenly clarity. "An act of god! Of course!"

Her son shot her a blank stare.

"Not inspiring any faith, mom. It was just an expression." Zenkichi grumbled.

"You _will_ need all the help you can get, you know." Hitomi pointed out to her son.

Having an idea of what his mother was getting at, Zenkichi shivered as a cold sweat ran down his spine. He immediately interjected. "I don't want to climb _all_ those steps!"

"Think of it as training, Zenkichi-kun." Hitomi playfully winked. "And besides, I heard that the god that lives there is very effective."

Zenkichi folded his arms stubbornly. "I heard otherwise. I heard that there was a mother that prayed in that shrine for the success of her business only for family to break apart. Rumor has it, a cult found her there, and while things looked up for a while, it all spiraled downhill all-too soon."

"That was only because a conman with a destructive sense of justice was involved." Hitomi explained curtly. "All other times were met with success! Besides," She shushed her son with a wave of her hand, "What use is it living near a shrine when you can't even pray for success?"

"…The shrine maiden living there is evil." He grumbled stubbornly.

"Nonsense! Miyano-chan is nothing but a darling!" She slapped her hands together and nodded to herself. "All these years, Miyano-chan attended to the shrine all by herself while her parents are overseas. How could you say such a thing about a woman so devoted to her faith?"

"You don't know, mom." Zenkichi shook his head as the many traumas past flashed before his eyes as if his end was near. _Those years of torment!_ "You just _don't_ know."

The mother of one puffed her cheeks at her son's stubbornness before letting out a tired sigh.

"Well, I guess I can't force you." Hitomi said as she relaxed back into her seat, strawberry-blonde hair casting a shadow on her face. A relieved sigh suddenly lodged in Zenkichi's throat at the watery-eyed pout on his mother's face when she looked at him again. "It's just, it would be a huge weight off my tired shoulders if I knew someone was watching over my Zenkichi-kun."

"…" Zenkichi stared. He could feel his willpower crumbling.

"Zenkichi-kun?" Hitomi's bottom lip quivered.

"…Devil fine!"

-0-0-0-

Hitoyoshi Zenkichi glared at the sign.

:.:_ Off on important business. Be back soon! In the meantime, clean up the backyard, okay Zenkichi-kun? You wouldn't want to disappoint your neesan, right? _:.:

Trust that manipulative shrine maiden, Arahabaki Miyano, to plant gardening duty upon his shoulders after his mother phoned in advance. There was even a red _something_ that smelled like iron at the corner of the memo the blonde shrine maiden left!

"Shouldn't she put more effort into maintaining this temple?" Zenkichi grumbled to himself before sighing. The Hitoyoshi son was used to this type of treatment from his old babysitter. Rather than watch over him, Miyano had him do all the household chores to keep him occupied until his mother could pick him up after work.

It wouldn't have been so bad if the woman wasn't such a slave-driver _and_ actually paid him his labor dues; Miyano would simply wave it off and chide him for being so half-empty. She would reason that she was training him for the future, and the younger Zenkichi shuddered to imagine what sort of future the older blond had in mind as she lazed about and watched him.

He placed the present his mother gave him on the doorstep and proceeded to the back of the large shrine he knew so well. He picked up a small sickle on his way from the shed Miyano had left unlocked.

If he had time to grumble, it only meant he had time to work.

Rounding the corner to the backyard, Zenkichi's eyes widened in disbelief at the jungle before him. The sealed shrine was barely visible with all the weeds and grass that overran the land!

"What the hell, Miyano-neesan! What happened to shrine maidens maintaining their place of worship!" He exclaimed his aggravation to the wind.

This—this would take him hours! He was only there for a quick prayer, damn it!

"Devil fine! Bring it on, Miyano-neesan!" Zenkichi fired himself up. With sleeves rolled up and the bright sun roasting him, Zenkichi crouched and began hacking away with reckless abandon.

He had no other choice, really; if he didn't comply, Miyano, at best, would spin a story of his delinquency to his mother and, at worst, bare the skeletons of his closet for all eyes to see.

Arahabaki Miyano had an uncanny affinity for blackmail. It was almost as if she had dirt on every living being in their city, nay, Earth itself! Hell, Zenkichi suspected that the reason she was gone most of the time was to spy on everyone around town…

That suspicion was up there together with Miyano heading a yakuza group.

So invested was Zenkichi in venting his rage on the defenseless but still annoying vegetation that, on the upswing after severing a particularly resistant bundle, he lost his grip on the sickle.

Zenkichi watched in horror as time seemed to slow down while the sharp tool soared in the air. His eyes widened in further when the gleaming tool crashed through the shrine's paper doors.

"Ugh!" Zenkichi cringed when he heard the sickle crash onto something that sounded a lot like glass.

"Oh please no." Zenkichi prayed as he scrambled to his feet and inspected what he had done. "Oh kami!"

There, in the shrine, was the sickle embed on the ground and in-between two halves of a mirror.

"I'm dead." Zenkichi almost felt like crying as he picked up the pieces. "Miyano-neesan's gonna kill me. Hell, the god of this shrine's gonna kill me!" It was then when Zenkichi noticed a plume of dark smoke coming out of the broken mirror. A dreadful sort of curiosity replaced his distress, and Zenkichi peered at it closer. "Hmm? What the-!"

The plume of smoke suddenly grew into a cloud of darkness.

_Ba-dump_.

Zenkichi's eyes widened in alarm at the sound of his heart banging in his ears. Electricity ran through his entire body towards his chest, and he felt it tighten painfully.

_'What…?'_

_Ba-…_

Something was leaving him.

Amidst the inscrutable and indescribable pain coursing through his body, Zenkichi felt that something was leaving him—and it left him feeling very cold, _very fast_. His rapidly dimming vision—whether due to the dark cloud or _worse_—managed to see a small ball of light floating from his chest to—

-a girl?

Indeed, there was a girl before him, but Zenkichi could not make out any more of her features.

_'Who…?'_ Zenkichi tried to ask but found that his mouth would not budge.

"I'm sorry." He heard her whisper softly. She took the shining orb into her hands delicately before bringing it to her bosom where it dissolved into her.

_'Why…?'_ Zenkichi struggled to ask amidst his rapidly dimming world. It was so cold. So very cold… but that didn't bother him.

Instead, his final thoughts were on the girl.

As his vision disappeared—as all sensation disappeared—Zenkichi was haunted by the last thing he saw: a beautiful girl and her tearful eyes.

_'Why…? Why do you look so sad?'_

His world disappeared.

Just like that, Hitoyoshi Zenkichi, freshman of Hakoniwa Academy and childhood friend of Kurokami Medaka, died on a sunny day.

* * *

_**A/N:** _Though I've got a definite end for this story unlike my other Medaka Box ongoings, I want to include best girl ;(


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N:_** Yes, Mon. That _was_ a Bakemonogatari reference (nice catch)!

I've finalized the jumping point. This story begins after Zenkichi's (and Emukae's) first day training with Najimi and, if it wasn't obvious enough, the start of Maga-Tsuki. I also took the creative liberty to delete Yasuke and turn Miyano into an only child for the sake of this story.

I'll apologize in advance: I rushed this update. It's not my best, and don't expect another update this soon. Holy Week's upon me and guests are coming over to visit- meaning that I'll be busy again for a while. Hopefully once all this is over, inspiration will still strike and another chapter can be released by the time graduate school resumes at the last week of May.

* * *

_Be Mine!_

A Medaka Box x Maga-Tsuki Crossover

_Part 2:_ Zenkichi is blackmailed and Anshin'in-san curses this shitty rabucome!

* * *

The immortal that introduced herself as Anshin'in-san glanced outside the window with a serious look.

"I sense a disturbance in the force."

The Not-Equal that shadowed her, Shiranui Hanten, had no idea why he suddenly felt the powerful urge to flick the white-haired girl's forehead.

-0-0-0-

The youngest Kurokami was literally bouncing with excitement as she made her last sweep of Hakoniwa Academy's halls before heading home.

First Year Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was going to be her rival!

That one sentence repeated itself in Kurokami Medaka's head like a mantra that filled her with all sorts of delightful feelings.

She could finally determine her once-best friend's worth; she could finally ascertain what it was in him that made him special!

Medaka had made extra sure to impress upon First Year Hitoyoshi Zenkichi's body the difference in their strength the day previous—after he had declared his intentions in the student council room. She was certain that First Year Hitoyoshi Zenkichi would step up to the challenge.

A warm smile etched itself on her lips.

He always did, after all.

In all her merriment, Kurokami Medaka failed to notice the abrupt arrival of dark clouds in the distance that darkened the otherwise sunny day.

-0-0-0-

_"Zenkichi,"_ _A voice he knew so well but couldn't seem to identify called out to him, "Do you hate me?"_

_"Of course not!" Zenkichi exclaimed. What on earth gave her such an outlandish idea?_

_"Then why?" She pleaded, and Zenkichi could feel her draw closer. "Why are you not with me? Why are you not by my side?"_

_"…I want to." He admitted. His arms held her smaller frame close and he could feel her gazing up at him. "I don't know why, but I desperately want to be by your side… but I can't. Not as I am now. Not the way you are now."_

_"Don't you love me, Zenkichi?" The faceless apparition asked in a voice so uncharacteristically unsure._

_It sent a twinge to his heart and he decided._

_Closing his eyes, Zenkichi lowered his face to plant his answer on her lips._

"Forever…" He whispered tenderly, opening his eyes only to find a pair of elated amethysts staring back at him.

"I'm so glad you came back to life!" The unknown girl cheered.

"Too close!" Zenkichi yelped and tried to jump back—only for the sickening crunch as the back of his head impacted on something hard to tell him that he was actually propped against a wall, and warm but soft womanly bits informing him of a scantily clad girl pressed up against him _from the space between his legs_…

_'Waitwhatwho-!"_

"Argh!" He summarized all he felt unintelligibly.

"Are you alright?" The lavender-haired girl asked him worriedly. She reached up towards him to massage the back of his head comfortingly.

Incidentally, the kind gesture managed to press her bountiful bosom against his face, making Zenkichi's entire head light up like a lantern and he reflexively pushed her away.

"I'm alright so please-!"

His hands slipped from her shoulders and he felt his chest tighten and his body grow numb once more.

"You can't!" The clingy girl tackled him desperately, and just as abruptly did the weird sensation come did it vanish. In its place, Zenkichi's cheeks flared when she embraced him tightly as if his life depended on it. "You can't leave my side!"

"Huh?" Zenkichi's brain short-circuited at all the stimulation. _'Seriously, what the hell was happening?'_

"Just then…" the girl whispered sorrowfully, "If you had left me, you would have died… and it would have been all my fault."

Zenkichi's heart thundered against her breasts, but he willed it to steady. Taking a deep breath to collect all his thoughts, Zenkichi decided that he had no idea what the hell was happening—which meant he needed to find out. So, first things first…

"Who are you?" Zenkichi asked and managed to ignore the fact that a scantily glad beauty was molded against his front.

"I'm the one being worshipped in this shrine, _Magatsu-Hino-Kami_." The strange girl began and Zenkichi found himself getting lost again. "My name is Seori Tsuhime."

"I'm Hitoyoshi Zenkichi." The boy introduced himself reflexively before his brows scrunched up in thought. "Seori-san," Zenkichi tested the name before recalling what it was she said, "Er, Seori-sama… are you saying that you're…" His mouth dried as the wheels in his head slowly began to turn. "That you're a goddess?"

"Yes, Zenkichi-san." The deity smiled brightly before adding in a small voice. "And, um.. _'Tsuhime'_ is fine…"

"Goddess?" Zenkich repeated. He was still unable to get his head around her declaration.

"That's what I said…" She said, this time less brightly and with more uncertainty.

"A goddess." Zenkichi repeated to himself more soberly.

The girl's eyes welled up with tears. Was he making fun of her? "Y-yes, I- I'm a go-goddess…"

"You know what? I'm just not surprised anymore." Zenkichi admitted. He glanced at the tearful girl…_goddess_. "Er, no offense."

Even if he wasn't surprised, that didn't mean he thought it was a good idea to get on the bad side of a deity. He was there to pray for _success_, after all.

Finally picking up on the deity's distress, Zenkichi decided to swipe two birds with one stone. "So, which goddess are you?"

Maybe he'd have a better idea of where his life was going if he knew to whom he was praying to. Miyano had been very secretive about her temple, after all.

The deity averted her gaze and started poking her fingers together anxiously. "I'm the goddess of calamity."

_…What?_ "WHAT!"

"Don't let go!" The goddess draped herself on the reactive teen. "If you let go, you will die!"

"What do you mean by that?" Zenkichi half-asked, half-exclaimed. Though he still couldn't get over the shock that he had been praying for calamity to befall his life all this time, this was the second time she had mentioned such an ominous phrase, after all.

_'This explains so much, though… Damn you Miyano-neesan!_'

"Since you broke the divine mirror, calamity will befall you…" The deity explained. At the blank look she garnered from the boy, she grasped both his hands and cupped them together. "Your life will temporarily be in my hands, just like this." She brought both their hands against her breast.

"Urk!" Zenkichi choked when his skin made contact with smooth warm flesh. His mind briefly wondered if Medaka-chan's skin was just like this—_'Bad thoughts!'_

The flustered teen quickly tried to retract his hands but found the goddess' grip to be very firm.

"Don't let go!" The lavender-haired deity shouted again, this time a bit more forcefully. This boy was incredibly stubborn!

"Er, right." Zenkichi stammered. "Could you, you know, let me stop touching your breasts?"

"Alright."

Zenkichi sighed in relief when the bodacious deity let their hands drop. A small part of him wondered why she didn't seem too bothered by the contact, and only when Zenkichi finally caught the innocent look on her face did he connect the dots.

_'This goddess is too pure!'_

Her innocence also made her look even more adorable than a goddess should be, by his reasoning.

"Like I said, your life will be in my hands, temporarily." The cute deity explained again. "Your life force is inside of me…"

It was then that Zenkichi recalled the glowing sphere that erupted from his chest which the deity took into her own. It was also then when he lost all sensation and consciousness, and what resuscitated him was the tender softness of the goddess' lips-

"Wait, you kissed me!"

"Kiss?" The goddess tilted her head to the side with a puzzled look on her face. "What is a kiss? I was feeding life force to you mouth-to-mouth… though it's still dangerous."

"'_What is a kiss' she says…_" Zenkichi muttered as he shook his head ruefully and sighed again. She was like another Medaka-chan: clueless of what it was their actions did to other people.

"As punishment," The deity continued, unaware of the boy's musing. "You need to accept and provide service to a goddess."

"Service?" That word snapped Zenkichi out of his musing. He recalled the saying about broken mirrors and years of bad luck; he shuddered to think what breaking a divine mirror would entail.

"In other words…" She glanced up at him hesitantly. "To remove your misfortune, _please bring me 'happiness'_."

Zenkichi stared at her uncomprehendingly.

"Happiness?"

"Yes." She nodded shyly. "It's the only way to alleviate your curse."

He remained staring at her, and the shy goddess began to fidget.

"Ah, w-well…"

"Alright." Zenkichi finally sighed. This wasn't the way he thought his day would turn out, but whatever; he couldn't leave such a tormented-looking girl, er, deity by herself.

But still, _happiness…?_

"You are… taking this rather well." The deity commented softly.

"It's been a very eventful year." Zenkichi explained succinctly. "And it's not even over."

"But… but your life is in my hands. I even killed you…" She admitted sorrowfully.

Zenkichi's eyes widened in alarm as dark clouds began to gather around the tearful deity.

"Woah, wait! It wasn't your fault!" The panicked teen tilted her chin upwards to face him. "I was the one that broke the divine mirror, so punishment is expected." He grinned at her sheepishly. "And as far as punishments go, making you happy—making anybody happy—isn't too bad. In fact…" Zenkichi paused and wondered if what he was about to say next was appropriate. After all, given the current state of their friendship… _'No, Medaka-chan and I are still friends'_ he concluded resolutely. "_In fact,_ I know someone who has made it her life's purpose to bring happiness to all the people around her, friend and foe alike."

"Really?" That seemed to snap the deity out of her depressive spiral down.

"Really, really." Zenkichi nodded confidently.

"So you're not… mad?" She asked, her bottom lip quivering at the thought of this mortal man thinking ill of her. "Even knowing that you can die at any second?"

"This wouldn't be the first time I've died… though this is the closest, I guess." Zenkichi scratched the back of his head with his free hand. "And it's not like I couldn't die at any second prior to this… this just makes the statement a bit more literal."

"S-so… so it's okay for me to stay in this world?" She asked him hopefully. "I'm not a burden to you?"

"It's no problem." Zenkichi nodded though less confidently than before.

A wave of déjà vu washed over Zenkichi and made him blink. Where had he been in a situation like this before…?

"Promise?" She prodded, unintentionally pulling the boy from further any deeper introspection.

"Promise." A roguish grin spread Zenkichi's lips as he squashed the uneasy feeling.

"I'm so happy!" The deity nodded and threw her arms around him again.

Zenkichi wanted to protest again at her displays of affection but seeing the unadulterated joy in her made the flustered teen sit quietly. He also tried not to think of the generous blessings her barely-covered bounties granted his eyes.

_'S-soft!'_ He inwardly smacked himself._ 'Bad thoughts!'_

Besides, he felt bad taking advantage of such a _pure-spirited_ goddess.

But that didn't change the picture of what their situation painted, and Zenkichi cursed his luck when the voice of his nightmares cut in.

"You know Zenkichi-kun…" Zenkichi's heart stilled and he stiffly turned towards the source. His worst fears were confirmed: Arahabaki Miyano stood there with an unreadable stare. The goddess in his loosened her embrace to glance curiously at the newcomer.

"I know I always tell you to make yourself at home," The priestess closed her eyes and sighed. When they opened again, a shiver went down Zenkichi's spine at the mischievous glint in her eyes. "But I never expected that you'd be brazen enough to not only dress your girlfriend with even less cover than an Arabian dancer, but that you'd even bring her to my temple house I'm away."

"Wait, she's not my girlfriend! Also, this girl is-"

"_Magatsu-Hino-Kami-sama_, I know." She smirked at the incredulous stare from her work-mule and former charge. "What? I'm the shrine maiden of this temple." Turning towards the quietly observing deity, the priestess placed both hands on the floor before her and bowed with utmost respect and grace. "Nice to meet you, _Magatsu-Hino-Kami Seori Tsuhime-sama_. I'm Priestess Miyano of this shrine."

Zenkichi twitched at the formality that he had never seen his old babysitter display in all the time he knew her.

"Nice to meet you." The lavender-haired goddess straightened her sitting and replied with a respectful bow of her own; she made sure that one hand still grasped Zenkichi's.

"Ah, Miyano-neesan…" Zenkichi began with cold sweat. How was he supposed to explain himself?

"I already know." The glamorous blonde priestess waved off his explanation.

Zenkichi's eye twitched irritably. "How do you know what I was about to say?"

The more mature blond raised her index finger.

"One, I've been babysitting you since the time you would proclaim you'd marry your mother." Zenkichi flushed at the embarrassing reminder of his youth, but Miyano continued before he could say anything. "And two," She brought her middle finger beside her index finger and pointed at the spot beside him.

Zenkichi followed its direction and was met with the chaos that became of the backyard after the goddess of calamity was released.

"Oh."

"Yes."

The clueless goddess could only glance between the pair of blondes.

"That aside, what are you planning to do, Zenkichi-kun?" Miyano's sky blue gaze drifted to where both Zenkichi's and the innocent deity's hands were firmly clasped together.

"I've made a promise." Zenkichi puffed out his chest proudly. "And I'm going to fulfill it."

No matter how much it took. Hitoyoshi Zenkichi was not a man afraid of any amount of work or sacrifice if it meant helping someone he cared about.

And, at this moment, Zenkichi cared about the sorrowful smiles he saw in this goddess of calamity.

"Oh really?" Miyano cooed at him skeptically. "Don't you have school tomorrow?"

_That_ brought Zenkichi back to reality.

"Ah…" Zenkichi trailed, at a loss. He glanced over at the quiet goddess who was looking between them curiously.

"Tell me how I can help" The goddess' eyes narrowed with determination.

"Well, I don't have any problems making you happy but… how am I going to explain this?" Zenkichi raised their hands for the goddess to see.

The goddess' eyes widened and began welling up with tears once more. "So… so I'm really bothering you, Zenkichi-kun…?"

Dark clouds gathered around them again.

"No!" Zenkichi and, surprisingly, Miyano shouted in sync. Zenkichi turned towards the older blonde, who nodded to allow him to continue. "You're not a bother. I'm sure there's a simple solution to this problem."

"Like asking your oneesan."

"Yeah, like asking Miyano-oneesan…" Zenkichi parroted subconsciously before throwing a sharp look at the grinning priestess. "What?"

"I may have a solution _but…_" The miko trailed off, waiting for Zenkichi to pick up the bait.

Seeing as he had no other options at the moment, Zenkichi resigned himself to whatever it was the manipulative miko had in mind. "_But…_?"

"But I'll only help in two conditions."

Zenkichi gulped. "And those are…?"

"The first, my dear Zenkichi-kun," Zenkichi shuddered at how his name rolled off her lips, "Is that you ask me nicely. Though I'm your oneesan in all but blood, that doesn't mean I'll do you any favors for free."

Zenkichi immediately placed one hand before him and bowed low enough that his forehead touched the ground before exclaiming. "_Please help this unworthy soul, oh gracious Miyano-sama!_"

The goddess glanced curiously between the man who threw away his dignity and the woman that accepted it with a leer.

"Good, Zenkichi-kun," Miyano nodded to herself. "It seems you haven't forgotten your place after all these years."

Straightening himself, Zenkichi prodded her impatiently "And the second…?"

"The second is that you'll pay for _and_ fix all these damages to my house, and that you will accept all the responsibility that comes with being a servant to a goddess."

"Of course I'll—wait, that's two!"

"Were you saying something, you unworthy soul?"

Zenkichi abruptly stilled himself. "_Of course not, Miyano-sama…_"

"Good. Leave everything to oneesan then, Zenkichi-kun, _Magatsu-Hino-Kami-sama_." Miyano pulled out her cellphone and dialed a number. It didn't take long before whoever it was on the other line picked up. "Hello, Old Man Shiranui-sensei?"

Zenkichi's eyes nearly jumped out of their sockets.

_The Hakoniwa Academy Chairman!_

"Yeah, it's Miyano here. Could you assist me with something? I've got a relative that just came back from overseas with a particular condition. Name? _Well…_"

Arahabaki Miyano shot a thoughtful glance at the lavender-haired goddess that was still pressed against Zenkichi's side. The goddess looked back at her with eyes that conveyed both worry and curiosity.

_'Seori Tsuhime, hmm…? So…'_

-0-0-0-

"Setsu Orihime?" Shiranui Hakama stroked his beard in thought. "Alright, Arahabaki-san, I'll make sure of it."

"An old friend?" Ajimu Najimi, otherwise known as Anshin'in-san, asked after sipping the tea prepared. Behind her, Hanten remained silent with her back toward her as normal.

"An old student." Hakama corrected with a small frown.

"You look troubled. Is there anything wrong?" Najimi asked pleasantly. She had picked up the entire conversation with one of her many, many abilities, and though innocent as it was, it instilled a sense of dread in the Not-Equal.

_But why_

"Yes. She wants me to transfer a young woman this late into the school year."

"That's not so odd. I seem to recall Kumagawa enrolling an entire class just last month."

"I already had files on all the Minuses. This girl, however… I can't seem to recognize the name."

The sense of dread only intensified.

"I see…"

"You look ill, Anshin'in-san." The old chairman commented.

"I think I know what's happening." She replied with a very crossed look on her face. "And I only blame myself."

"What? Why?"

"Earlier today, I made Zenkichi-kun confront his feelings for Medaka-chan…"

"And…?"

"And now this story turned into a shitty love comedy."

The old man blinked in confusion. "I'm sorry, but I fail to see how these two instances are connected."

"Silly old man," Najimi shook her head grimly. "Can't you see? It has started."

She stood up and slowly walked towards the window.

"A mysterious transfer student arrives to disrupt the status quo."

Turned towards the old chairman with a bitter smile.

"And I have only myself to blame."

-0-0-0-

"I'm really not a hindrance, right?" The newly-named Setsu Orihime asked the mortal she was bound to.

Zenkichi merely grinned back, "Of course not, Setsu-san!"

"A-ah, like I said..." Her shoulders slumped gloomily. "You can just call me Orihime..."

"Oh, ah," Zenkichi blushed. "Alright... _Orihime-san._"

The lavender-haired goddess puffed her cheeks and pouted, but Zenkichi wouldn't relent on that.

The beautiful twilight was already upon the pair as Zenkichi lead the way home, hand-in-hand. The pair did draw a few stares from the equally few passerbys. Zenkichi supposed that was normal; even dressed in the loose sweater and simple skirt that Miyano had lent the goddess, Orihime was still a beautiful.

What Zenkichi did wonder was why the crybaby goddess had such a low opinion about herself. He had already lost count of the number of times he had to reassure Orihime that _'no, she wasn't a nuisance'_.

He tried asking Miyano about it, but all the blonde miko did was chuckle knowingly and berate him for being such a clueless male.

_"Kurokami-chan's not the only woman in the world, you know._" Miyano repeated what seemed to be her catchphrase to him. Zenkichi had no idea what it meant before...

But _now_...

After Anshin'in-san pried the truth from his lips..

Zenkichi could only flush in reply. He decided that he'd meditate Miyano's cryptic words at a later time; for now, he had a goddess to satisfy.

"Well, here it is, Orihime-san." Zenkichi told the wide-eyed goddess who had been preoccupied with the wonders of the modern world. Weird; he had thought that gods watched over their every move and thus knew everything there was about the state of the world. Anyhow, "This is my home... and I guess yours as well."

It wasn't a particularly tall or glamorous place given that only him and his mother lived there, but it was still a cozy home that his mother bought with her wages as a single-parent. Zenkichi loved his house regardless- though that didn't deter him from aspiring for something grander once he found a job.

"It's bright." Orihime commented with a soft smile. Even at the doorstep, the goddess could feel the warmth of the Hitoyoshi family radiating from the building. It made her happy to know that Zenkichi seemed to live a happy life- and it made her inwardly frown, as well, to intrude in such a peaceful setting.

"Orihime-san?" Zenkichi called once he caught the gloomy look in her eyes. "You don't have to worry about anything, alright? My mom might be embarrassing, but she's awesome. I'm sure she'll understand."

"I... I suppose." Orihime stuttered before throwing a concerned glance at the boy. "I'm not a-"

"I'll be glad to offer my services to a goddess." Zenkichi cut her off and grinned at the hesitant goddess reassuringly. "I'm not really sure _how_ I'll make you happy, but I guess we'll figure it out together, right?"

Orihime's smile slowly brightened at the conviction in Zenkichi's tone. With a determined look in her eyes, she decided to follow Zenkichi's lead, and so she nodded at him gratefully. "Thank you, Zenkichi-kun." She gave him a small bow and a demure smile. "I'll be in your care."

Zenkichi nodded his head and fished out his key with his spare hand. They both entered before the blond locked the door behind him.

"I'm home." Zenkichi called out while he and Orihime took off their shoes at the entrance.

"Welcome back!" Came the cheerful reply.

Still clinging on Zenkichi's arm, Orihime curiously searched for the source and watched as a little girl strolled up to meet them.

"You took longer than expected, Zenkichi-kun." The little blonde commented.

"Unexpected stuff happened." Zenkichi pointedly answered.

"Oh?" The little girl's eyes narrowed as she finally caught the curtain of purple draped on Zenkichi's arm. "And who might this be, Zenkichi-kun?" Her sweet tone sent a shiver down Zenkichi's spine. "Is this one of those _unexpected stuff_?"

Zenkichi, who had broken into a nervous sweat, swallowed the lump on his throat. "Er, mom? Meet Orihime. Orihime, mom."

"A-ah!" Orihime stammered when she was abruptly put on the spot and flushed when she realized that the little girl before her was actually Zenkichi's mother. Bowing slightly, the goddess introduced herself. "Pleased to meet you! I am Seori—that is, Setsu Orihime." She turned to Zenkichi's mother with a timid smile. "I will be in Zenkichi-kun's care."

"I'm Hitoyoshi Hitomi, _Zenkichi-kun's mother_." Hitomi returned tersely—making extra sure to emphasize her status in the family to this stranger—before shooting an expectant glare at her son. The hallway seemed to drop by deathly degrees below warm and cozy. "_What does she mean by being in your care, Zenkichi-kun_?"

"Ah…" Zenkichi's mind drew blanks. "Exactly what it means?"

"Explain yourself, Zenkichi-kun!" Hitomi boomed before thrusting an accusing finger at the newcomer. "Why is there a girl that I've never seen before hanging off your shoulder!"

"Y-yes!"

It took several minutes for the thoroughly cowed Zenkichi to explain the precarious situation he found himself in to his mother. The trio had relocated to the small living room.

"Let me see if I understood this." Hitomi massaged her temples. "You leave home to pray for success this afternoon and return with an _actual goddess_ in your arms?"

"My life is also in her hands." Zenkichi reminded but flinched under the withering glare of his mother. Suddenly noticing the dark clouds gathering again, Zenkichi turned to the gloomy goddess, whose tears welled up in her eyes at being reminded of the burden she placed on Zenkichi. "Ah, not that it's a bad thing, Orihime-san!"

"Uh-huh…" She nodded eyes still wide and glassy.

"I can't believe this." Hitomi shook her head in wonder. "An actual goddess…"

"Umm…" Orihime began shyly, drawing the attention of the Hitoyoshi mother-son duo. "Is it—is it really alright if I lived here?"

Hitomi studied the goddess before her and sighed. "I've got my misgivings about a guy and girl sleeping in the same room together… but this is a _really_ extreme circumstance. I suppose I'll have to get used to this." She glanced at the _very_ close proximity of her Zenkichi and Orihime before her eyes snapped towards her son. "You troublesome boy! How could you let this happen! You didn't even pray, did you!"

"Oh, that's right!" Zenkichi abruptly turned to the shy goddess who stared back at him with wide, curious eyes. "Excuse me, Orihime-sama."

Zenkichi bowed his head twice, clapped twice, and then bowed again. "Please watch over me, Orihime-sama."

The goddess' eyes lit up and she blushed. A prayer!

"Of course!" Orihime nearly sang in joy. How long had it been since she had such a personal request? How long had it been since a mortal believed in her so fully? Her lips transformed into a goofy grin and she held Zenkichi's hand firmly. "I will do my best to make you happy just as you promised to make me happy!"

"Zenkichi!" Hitomi yelped and leapt high into the air to smack that back of her son's head. "I didn't raise you to become a playboy!"

"Argh, mom!" Zenkichi whined and tried to soothe the stinging pain her reprimand caused with his free hand. "I'm didn't—I'm not a playboy! It's just—making Orihime-san happy is the only way to alleviate the curse!"

"Zenkichi-kun, I don't think you've thought this through. How are you two going to clean yourselves up?"

Just like that, Zenkichi groaned.

"Z-Zenkichi-san?" Orihime looked at him questioningly.

It was then that Zenkichi recalled that this goddess didn't even know what a kiss was…

"I hope you're not planning anything improper, Zenkichi-kun." Hitomi continued with the underlying promise of punishment if he said otherwise.

"I'm not!" Zenkichi firmly denied.

Hitomi sighed and shook her head. "I trust you, Zenkichi-kun. I really do. But you are also a teenage boy, and it is normal if your hormones go out of control. So," The mother straightened and grinned a very familiar grin; Orihime concluded that such roguish confidence likely ran in Zenkichi's family. "I shall be joining you two when you shower from here on!"

"What!"

"Oh, I was too naïve!" Hitomi suddenly lamented when more realizations dawned upon her. "How will you two go to the toilet? Maybe I should assist you two as well!"

"MOM!"

As the night turned into one of embarrassment and mortification, Zenkichi couldn't help but wonder if he really had been praying to the wrong deity all this time.

_However…_

_"Ehehehehe…." Orihime continued to giggle softly._

_The gloomy goddess' smile continued to beam her joy at receiving a simple prayer._

Yeah, all this trouble?

Totally worth it.

* * *

**A/N:** Like I said; not my best. No witty references this time, sorry ;( Anyways, do an amateur fanfiction writer a favor and comment on any timeline inconsistencies & spelling/grammar mistakes, would ya? :)) I'd be grateful for another pair of eyes proofreading this.


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